it was the best dream ever. and it was so simple
and so real. and i think i woke up crying,
or at least knowing i should.

walking in the mall
hand in hand
they pass and stare
look me head to toe
'seriously, them?'
theyre so mean,
but i could care less.
we kiss quickly
and walk away together,
and all is right with the world.

i miss you.
can i be more obvious?

that dream, no. that night terror, oh god it seemed too real.
'she's changed' 'no she hasnt youll hate her in a month' 'yeah probs.'
i like the way things are now.
enough said.

whatever. i guess this guys okay, but i miss you. i miss your face. ugh. so much for being friends

okay this is creeepy. just weird.

without the bad times
good ones wouldnt be as good.

i want your smile back.

i always had your little head,
i never had your big one.

i didnt mean for it to end like this. i didnt want this. i take it back, i take it all back. i want you. i miss you. i want you to hold me like you did this summer. i want to take it from you. i want to cuddle, i want to snuggle, i hate both of those words especially snuggle with a passion but if saying bring you back i will. stop the tears. stop my crying. i do want what we had this summer, but i was emotionless, which is i guess what you wanted. the emotionless me. the me on the rebound. it hurts.

shawty's like a melody in my head.
i got my oscar moment,
it was just the wrong genre.
it's done.
were over.
for reals.

angered by the thought of you,
softened by your smile.

i ain't your booty call
it doesnt have it's own number.

matt and kim take me back.
we didnt used to be like this.
you didnt used to be like this.

when you have insomnia, you're never really asleep...and you're never really awake.

ashiadsfjk HELP.
im drowning.
shark.

fuck you.
im done with this.
i cant concentrate.
i cant stop checking my phone.
youre making me paranoid.
im making myself paranoid.
we need to talk.
i cant do this anymore.
i cant do casual.

we need to talk.
i need to tell you this
while im in this mindset.
and it cant wait forever.

it's just the kind of thing
that should really bother me,
but bothers me just enough
to keep me awake at night.

"oh, alexis, you're pants are ripped" -mr. davidson

"yeahhh, i know" -me

"did you fall?" -mr. davidson

"haha, nahh" -me

"no, she's just on her knees alot" -sarah

best moment ever.

i guess i didn't wish hard enough.

I don't care what people say
The rush is worth the price I pay
I get so high when you're with me
But crash and crave you when you are away.

You change your mind like a girl changes clothes
I should know that you're no good for me.
I should know that you're not gonna change.

it's like that scene in scrubs where elliot becomes semi dependent
on keith, and she's waiting at the door of the hospital for him
to come with her and holds her breath because she's scared he wont,
shes scared he means more to her than she means to him.

yeah he's got a smile that like, makes me see the light
and is incredibly contagious, but no. no no no.
i am not doing the same stupid self destructive
shit i did last year. it just hurts too much.
i need to cry.

i have little experience, but it's still experience.

i love the way it feels when im tweaking,
i love the way i am.
i hate the crash,
it makes me wanna die.

this is why i told you dont.
it's just not worth it.

uhh ohh
ohh no.
dont do this to me.

you wont weasel your way back in here.
so dont even try.
noone wants you
youre a lying two-faced bitch.

who's a whore?
im a whore.
i feel like one of those people
with a creepy ass internet boyfriend.
like someone from WOW
who ive never actually met
but have this relationship with.
dear god, looks like my job's gonna be easy.

this was me trying,
this was me saying no,
and you wouldn't take it as an answer?
wait, what just happened?