eww. i just ate a ripped off piece of paper so i wouldnt have to get up and throw it out. waste not want not i guess.
its like my emotions arent mine anymore. i want to control them. i want to grab them by the neck and throw them out of a speeding car. why the fuck cant i control them. im so confused. i hate this. i love this. everything is perfect but everything seems so wrong. i want not to be the jealous type. what is wrong with me i have nothing to be jealous of. hes not my type i know too much. ive said that before, over and over and over. im not going to let myself have those feelings for someone- for anyone that is. i am always the one that sets myself up for disaster and ends up getting hurt. why when things get good does this always happen. not this time tho, not this time, i promise.
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