how'd i miss this.

i reread the marriage paper i wrote in the spring about why people get married and i remembered why i feel the way i do about you dad:

"Without trying to hurt my feelings my mom explained that after they had me, her life changed but my father’s didn’t. My dad just wanted to do what he had always done and wasn’t willing to make any sacrifices. My mom had to forfeit everything and it was no longer a two- way street, taking care of me, between her and my father; and no longer having that partnership was hurtful to my mom. My father’s actions, or lack of actions, made her see him in a different light; a light she wasn’t particularly fond of, and a light she knew probably wasn’t going to change, unless it was with animosity, which she didn’t want."

and there you have it. i dont think you ever wanted me in the first place. i dont know how i didnt catch this six months ago. i hate you.