im sorry.

i guess im doing something right...
yet you make it seem like im doing everything wrong.
and that hurts.
but i guess its the price i pay
for friendship.
i want you to be honest,
i just wish the truth didnt make me feel like shit.
and i know youll read this and think im blowing things way out of proportion
but i figure thats probably expected by now.
and you know how much your opinions mean to me,
so i guess i felt like what i didnt know wouldnt hurt me.

and explaining things wont do me any justice. because as much as i love you, you probably wont understand because you have an amazing girlfriend who loves you unconditionally and practically worships you and who will be there no matter what and i...dont.
and i wanted to tell you before today and after i said the tool thing that i legitimately liked him.
so sometimes i think if i pretend things dont bother me and i dont have emotions or feelings it will really happen..but we both know it wont. and i guess we just have to let me hurt myself. and i probably sound like an idiot that isnt making any sense or being logical in the least. but hey, that cant surprise you anymore. we both know i fuck up more than i should. i dont know whats wrong with me anymore.
and i know i can partially change things but i guess i figure i wont ever get what i really want and maybe these little things will make me happy for now. im just tired of being alone i guess. im not intentionally trying to make you or anyone upset, and honest to god hate it when people are mad at me if i havent made that obvious enough.

and now that ive been the biggest drama slut i can be for one day: end scene.