this fucking blows. FUCKING BLOWS. and to top it off jamie tells me i was in the A boat next practice. can you say FUCK MY LIFE? i was SO FUCKING CLOSE.
AND THEN on the way to the chiropractor, mother tells me to PRAY about my situation. LIKE I BELIEVE IN GOD AFTER THE SHIT THAT HAPPENS IN THIS WORLD. TELL THE STARVING ORPHANS IN AFRICA TO FUCKING PRAY. SEE WHAT THE FUCK THEY SAY. OR TELL THOSE WHO HAVE LOST LOVED ONES IN THE WAR. i dare you. im not gonna waste my time praying for something that the so called god will obviously never give me.
and child, stop complaining about your problems. stop holding on to her. youve lost her. and you continue to push her away by trying to bring her close. give it up. give her space. and you might feel like death, but at least you can do something about it.
and then seeing him today when i was in the launch and jamie asking if his best friend had left yet, i wanted to answer so bad. just the mention of your name, and to be reminded you are no longer here, it made everything 10 times worse.
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